school psychologist manatee
A Slow Clap Tribute to Florida’s Superintendents
Clap… Clap… Clap… Clap… Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap! Clap! Clap!
On September 25, the Florida Association of District School Superintendents (FADSS) released a statement that, in short, recommended that the severely flawed FSA administration from the previous school year not impact students, teachers, and schools. You can read their message for details, but acknowledging that the accountability system school districts adopted is flawed and has fostered a loss of trust amongst the public is a refreshing admission.
And thus, a tribute to Florida’s superintendents:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf3j2zpV8Sw
If I may take issue with one point made in the FADSS statement (and it is my blog, so I may), the assertion that, “direct negative consequences were avoided for the students,” is dubious, especially for those of us on school campuses leading into and during the FSAs. My own two eyes saw children needing to be pulled from classes for medical assistance and counseling with heart palpitations and other anxiety-induced symptoms on test days.
Hours of potential instructional time were lost due to not only the time needed to take the mountains of state tests, but by countless wasted minutes walking children to computer labs for testing only to find that the technology had failed. We’ll wait until things are up and running in a couple of hours. Those of you already sweating and stressed? Just put your heads between your legs and breathe if you feel nauseous. Sorry to drag this out.
And let’s not forget that for months leading up to the test, the unlucky souls recruited to play the arduous role of “school testing coordinator,” usually a dean, counselor, reading coach, or assistant principal, didn’t get to do their actual jobs for the students. The dean will not be available until after the FSA, so we ask that all naughtiness be kept at a minimum. If the testing coordinator was fortunate enough to have some helping hands, it was usually school support staff who suspended their primary responsibilities which included everything from helping overloaded teachers with materials and copies to tutoring struggling learners. Sorry kids. No small groups with Ms. Bliss until the end of April.
So with all due respect, there were plenty of direct negative consequences for students. But I digress.
All in all, the superintendents really do deserve applause. One must have courage and integrity to take heed and change direction when you realize you’ve gotten yourself (and our teachers, school administrators, and especially our poor, poor kiddos) into a bad spot. The statement from the FADSS follows encouraging and brave steps taken last spring by several Florida school districts such as Orange County to scrap the most nonsensical end of year exams the state had pushed because, well, it’s silly to give 6 year olds final exams on any and everything including art and P.E.
Parents and educators alike want more bold moves from decision makers to amend other poorly thought out policies (I’ll personally wash the cars of any superintendents who eliminate the insane practice of mandatory retention. Seriously. Wax too.). Positive change does not come all at once. The recent actions of Florida’s superintendents give hope that perhaps this is a wave building, ready to crest and then break onto the shore. If that is indeed the case, they are worthy of our most sincere acclamation.
Summer Social Skills Challenge: Daily Practice for Children with Social Anxiety
Sitting somewhere between the conclusion of the previous school year and the start of next school year, now is a fantastic time to bolster your child’s ability to interact with others. Many children struggle with social anxiety for a variety of reasons ranging from general shyness to low self-esteem to anxiety disorders or autism. Regardless of the cause, providing practice for your child so he or she can become more at-ease and confident when interacting with others is essential to growing socially. With that in mind, your favorite neighborhood school psychologist presents the Summer Social Skills Challenge! Guide your child with a positive, encouraging attitude throughout each of the four steps described below, and prepare yourself for the pride that will fill you with each challenge met!
Step 1: Define the challenge of the day.
Be explicit in doing so. It will increase your child’s comfort level to discuss where the challenge will take place, what your goals are for that particular challenge, and what the interactions will look like.
There are literally hundreds of potential social challenges to be accomplished, but here are a few ideas to get you started. Try at least one each day!
“Today you will…”
- Greet the greeter at Walmart and ask how her day is going.
- Initiate a game (i.e., tag, hide-and-seek, etc.) with kids at the playground.
- Pay the cashier at Publix.
- Order food at McDonald’s.
- Share a toy or play item (i.e., slide) at the kids area of the shopping mall.
- Converse with a movie theater employee about his or her (or even your) favorite film.
- Inquire about different entrees at Olive Garden.
- Tell a joke to grandma.
- Introduce yourself to someone your own age at the park.
- Give a compliment to someone at church (author’s note: sweet old ladies are quite receptive to this kind of charm).
- Ask a worker for help finding an item in Target.
Step 2: Practice the interaction.
Role play the event before it happens. Take turns within each role, modeling appropriate behavior for each. For instance, you may play the part of the Walmart greeter by sitting in the kitchen. Have your child walk through the hallway to where you are seated, look you in the eye and say, “Good morning.” Be positive with your feedback while also being very specific, providing practice for behaviors that can be improved (i.e., “You did a great job of looking into my eyes while speaking with me! Now let’s practice again, and I want you to try to smile when saying, ‘Good morning.’”). Within these practice sessions, switch roles or include other members of the family so you can model the desired behavior.
A few basic goals to encourage for each interaction:
- Make eye contact when speaking and listening.
- Shake hands when meeting someone.
- Remain at an appropriate distance – about arms length – from the person you are speaking with.
- Smile!
- Speak with a friendly tone of voice.
- Say an appropriate goodbye when the interaction is finished.
Step 3: Go out and try it!
You’ve discussed the challenge and practiced it, now let’s give the real thing a try! There may be some anxiety beforehand, so encouragement and reassurance leading into the challenge are a must.
Step 4: Praise the effort and discuss what went well and what could be improved.
Offer praise, praise, and more praise! Initiating social interactions is not something that comes natural for children with social anxieties, so an overabundance of commendation and expressions of pride are a must for the bravery exhibited! This will help boost your child’s confidence for future interactions. Within your raving, be specific about what went well (i.e., “Wonderful job of telling your new friend your name and asking what his name was when introducing yourself!”). Also feel free to ask your child what he thought could have gone better or been different. Being careful not to discourage, you can specify a point or two to remember for the future. Practice these potential improvements to apply to interactions soon to come.
The best way for people of all ages to improve their social skills is through practice. With half of the summer in front of you (read: the glass is half-full!), take advantage by providing opportunities for your child to successfully meet each daily challenge!
Matthew Wiggins, Ed.S
Licensed School Psychologist
WigginsEvals.com
Tips for Managing an Attention Seeking Child: A Character Case Study of No, David!
My two year old son’s favorite bedtime stories this summer are from the No, David! series by David Shannon. David is the rambunctious main character in the set whose interests are primarily of the ultra-naughty variety. Evan loves these short stories, and for the sake of full disclosure, he has his share of David-esque behaviors. As a school psychologist, I found it impossible when flipping through No, David! and Shannon’s other books not to ask, “What is driving David’s behavior?” In-depth, scholarly analysis of the picture books led me to a clear conclusion: David craves attention. Need proof? Here are some of his behaviors and what I would imagine a candidly introspective David might explain:
David’s Attention Seeking Behaviors
- Walking to school in his underpants (“Sure is fun to have Mom playing chase while the kids in the neighborhood laugh with me!”)
- Eating dog treats (“They don’t taste that bad, and Dad paused the Eagles game to make sure I don’t do it again.”)
- Releasing a gratuitous, loud burp at the dinner table (“Mom and Dad took a break from talking to each other to speak to me. Plus, I noticed them kinda snickering to each other when they were done giving me the business.”)
- Making faces during the class photo (“Feels good to make an audience giggle! We’ll get to laugh some more in a few weeks when the pics are developed. Talk about a win win!”)
- Drawing on his desk at school (“When I draw on my desk, Ms. Nelson always has me stay after school to scrub my desk clean. One-on-one time with the boss! And when I am done cleaning, she gives me a sticker and tells me what a good job I did. Love my sweet teacher!”)
That is just a small sampling of David’s attention seeking exploits. All of us parents or teachers know a “David,” whether he or she is in your class or is your very own offspring (author’s note: I involuntarily raised my hand meekly after typing those last four words.). Here are a few tips to curb those attention seeking behaviors:
Strategies to Curb Attention Seeking Behaviors
- Practice planned ignoring of the negative behaviors. For instance, if David calls out in class, resist the temptation to scold or shoosh him, as that will only strengthen those behaviors. If his comments are not acknowledged after a few tries, you will see him resort to raising his hand to be heard which leads us to the next strategy…
- Catch him doing the right thing. When David calls out ten times and you have been strong in not acknowledging that, once his hand goes up, call on him. Add specific praise (i.e., “Thank you for raising your hand.”) so he knows why you gave him that desired attention. At home, it may be a matter of catching and praising David for eating his dinner without turning it into a potato man with string bean arms and chicken legs. This is simply (psychologist-babble alert) differentiating your reinforcement.
- Provide specific expectations for behaviors and practice them. One of my favorite illustrations in, “No, David!” is David in the bathtub splashing wildly, making a soggy mess of the bathroom. A practice session, done at a time that is not bath time, would help curb this behavior. Start by providing the bath expectations (i.e., always sit in the tub, play and have fun, but keep the water in the tub, etc.). Then practice them with some role-play in a dry tub. When real bath time arrives, remind David of the expectations, and praise him as they are met.
- Give responsibilities that redirect the negative behaviors into a positive direction. For instance, if David is frequently holding up the class as the last student in from recess, create a position for future play times where David serves to call his classmates in to line up when the period is done. Adding a whistle or bell for David to make that call makes this an even more enticing way to get some attention while complying with the teacher.
And finally…
- Continue to love your child unconditionally. And make sure he or she knows it! Even when our children, at home or school, drive us to our wits’ end, assuring them that our love and caring never wains goes an immeasurable length towards raising our kids to be secure and confident adults.
Why Kids Act Out for Attention
All children crave attention in one form or another. It is their way of being reassured that they matter and are important to their moms and dads and teachers. And if they do not get that reassurance, our little ones are great at finding devious ways to trigger a reaction from their most loved adults. After all, while being scolded may not feel as good as a hug, it sure beats feeling ignored. But I should stress that having an attention seeking child is not an indictment on (insert your “David’s” name here) parents. Having a new baby in the home, professional demands, or various home stresses can make it difficult to completely fill that cup of desired attention. Our teachers would add that large class sizes or needy rosters contribute to that half-full cup. So when your “David” cranks up his naughtiness to 11, take a deep breath (or a gulp of wine) and remind yourself that it is because your attention is so coveted.
Matthew Wiggins, Ed.S
Licensed School Psychologist
WigginsEvals.com
Wiggins Educational Evaluations 